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Finally, on the heels of Gary’s comment about comparing his dates to me, I asked, “Gary, do you ever think about us? You know, the stuff we did when we were kids?”Gary gave a nervous laugh and said, “Jesus, of course I do…too often, actually. I am really sorry about what happened. I really hope I didn’t harm you…I hope you can forgive me...Do you think about it a lot?”“Yeah, I guess...sometimes. Gary, you need to quit beating yourself up. ‘You didn’t ‘do’ anything to me…we were both complicit. We were just kids…and, it was mostly my fault. I was the instigator, not you.”“No, I was older…I should have known better…in fact, I did know better. I really am sorry,” he apologized.“Don’t apologize. Here is a shocker for you…I actually don’t regret what we did.” There I said it. Deep down, I’d known it for a long time, but I never admitted it, not even to myself.“You don’t?” Gary was obviously stunned at this revelation.“No, honestly, I don’t. Gary, we were kids…curious kids, whose hormones. Well, I suppose that it's fair to say that it is probably deserved, at least in some cases". He stopped for a moment, as if he was expecting her to say something but then continued."That's the problem Doctor, however hard I have tried to stop myself I just can't resist them. I just can't resist women. It has become almost like an addiction for me - something I can't control"!Doctor Desai managed to disguise the note of cynicism she felt at his statement, and kept her voice as neutral as possible."Stop yourself! Just what are you trying to stop yourself from doing?" she asked him, knowing what he was probably alluding to but wanting him to tell her himself. She watched him gulp and take a deep breath as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, steeling himself for whatever it was that he was about to tell her."I..I just can't stop myself from loving them Doctor, loving them and then making love to them, a..and it's that which has ruined my life"!Doctor Desai felt herself reddening at.
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